Yo crazy mofos, how's it going? I know what you're thinking. Two blog posts in two days? Has this world gone mad? No I'm just really really bored ok. Just shut up and read them ok. Jeez, can you like stop complaining? Honestly, I do so much for you and this is how you act towards me? What did I do to deserve this?
Wait, whaaaat. That escalated quickly. Hahaha, I know it seems like I'm on crack but I swear I'm not ;) don't get fooled by the winky face, I really am not. I really, really wanna try though. Eh wait, whaaaat. No that's not what I meant. LOL this blog post is a mess, kinda like my life. Oh well.
Since it's the holidays, there are a few things I would like to accomplish because I don't plan to waste away my life, kind of like what I've been doing these days, so that in a few months, I can look back and think "Wow Vani, I'm proud of you, you didn't fuck shit up this time :)" Anyway, I've listed them down below.
1. Start sketching.
Ah yes. I used to sketch when I was younger, it used to be one of the things that made me happy -and that I was really good at- but I've stopped for a few years now. Some were pretty good that people offered me money for it. But no, I would never in a million years sell them. God knows I can't draw those pretty pictures ever again. So yes, I've bought a sketch book and I've started drawing a few of my friends. And the drawings turned out pretty great. Ok well, that was a lie. The drawings look like shit. Ah well, I tried lol.
2. Finish my book.
Oh yea motherfuckers I'm writing a book! Okay it's still in the draft stage-has been in that stage for 4 years- well don't blame me, momma's been busy ;) But you know what, I'm going to get it done. For all you fans out there, no I didn't mean my ceiling fans, the title of the book is 'Only You' and it's about this forbidden love between this two friends and I'm not willing to reveal the plot because someone might steal it. Hahaha, bitch please. Anyway, a friend of mine read it and told me the plot is pretty similar to Brokeback Mountain. I mean, yeah some part of it but that's not my fault. I really love that movie ok. It's a masterpiece. And gay Jake Gyllenhaal is so hot, he can lick my balls anyday. I mean whaaaat. I was just joking. No I'm not.
3. Clean my room
Oh god, my room is as dirty as a whore's vagina at this point. Hahaha that analogy cracked me up I'm so funny. As I type, I swear on my table there is a broken clock, my textbooks, my story books, an empty packet drink, a mineral bottle,some dirty laundry and the list goes on. And there's like 8 boxes lying around. Urgh can I pay one of you to clean this place?
I can't think of anything else, that was a short list. As short as my ding-a-ling. Oh well, I'm an underachiever and that's a known fact. I'll update this shit once I can think of anything else to do. Probably not. Oh well, I guess this is it for now. I know, I'll miss you too. I'll see you again soon babe, and I'll be thinking of you every second when we're apart :) <3
My finals ended about a week ago. I guess I should be relieved, I mean isn't that what you normally feel after an exam? but I'm not.That was by far, the worst exam I have ever sat for. Even my driving test went better than that, and we all know how that turned out.
How do you sit back and enjoy your holidays when the thought of possibly failing your exams linger at the back of your mind?
I had a conversation with dad yesterday. I let my guard down, and I wasn't really thinking about what I was saying and I accidentally told him that I might fail. A normal father would calm you down, reassure you that it's okay to fail. He might even hug you afterwards.
But not my fucking dad. He started scolding really loudly -some might call it yelling- that how can I even fathom the thought of failing, That my one and only job in the world is to study and I can't even do that right. That I have to pay my own exam fees if I fail. What's so hard about that? I'll just be a prostitute hah
But honestly, I have the most un-supportive parents in the world. Throughout this 2 and a half years, not once I complained about the hardship of Medicine because I know my parents will laugh and ridicule me about it. I know it sounds like I'm an ungrateful child, I agree that my parents have done a lot for me. They've been great guardians but I'm not sure if they've been great parents.
One good thing out of all these is that I know exactly how to raise my children. Doing the opposite of what mine did.
Back to the topic of uncertainty, I'm pretty uncertain about my future. Results will be out in 2 days. I'm not sure if I can handle retaking the exams. I don't think I am emotionally capable of that. And I'm not ready to give up this carefree lifestyle I have going on at the moment. I should have studied harder damn it.
I'm hoping for the best but I'm prepared for the worst.
Best of luck to all of us.
